Children are always judging caregivers - parents, teachers, coaches and elders - on a minute by minute basis. Often, what they want from us is genuine effort, genuine action in order to feel that they are cared for and supported in their endeavors. An incident highlights this in more ways than one.
In our colony Club the Annual Children Cultural Week 2008 was celebrated in Nov 08. Each day a new competitive event is held...debates, street plays, dance & music, quizzes, dumb charades etc. Children love to win prizes...and at times their parents get over eager in pushing them towards these. This day an incident happened that conveys a very deep meaning for all parents as well as teachers.....the importance of true effort!!
A little girl was taking part in the dance competition. She must have been 9-10 years old. Just as her chance to perform came, her mother like other parents went to the organisers with a cassette of the song she had to dance on. The cassette was played and it got stuck. It was re-played at least 10 times...and each time something went wrong and the child had to stop dancing mid-way. The organisers said it was the parents' responsibility to get a good working CD or a cassette while the parents blamed the music system. All this while the little girl, all nicely dressed up, began to sulk and became heartbroken. She left the stage and took an isolated seat at one corner of the hall. She began sobbing....very gently and quietly. In the meantime, the parents and the organisers mutually came to the agreement that both parties had done their best and perhaps it was the girls misfortune that day.
All this while I watched the goings-on from another seat at the back. And this seat was pretty close to the one where this girl sat. Soon her parents jointed her and convinced her that they all had tried their best and so they had to accept the situation sportingly. The girl got convinced and sat quietly...watching other girls perform. But her cheerfulness had disappeared. She appeared highly un-fulfilled to me sitting one row behind. I kept watching her for about 10 minutes, but finally my patience broke.
I got up and took the parents aside and asked them why we could try getting a new cassette or download the song from the net. Both showed little interest...for them the show over!! This happens in life, one of them reasoned with me. Their daughter had accepted this as a bad day and was now ok.
This was preposterous, I thought. How can they all not see the body language of the child. I asked them if I could talk to her, to which they agreed. Since the girl knew me well....more as a friendly neighbourhood uncle...she readily agreed to give it a second try if a 'good' cassette could be arranged.
The father as well as I got started...he went to the nearby market while I went home to try and download the song. While at home I soon got a call from the father that he was lucky to find a new cassette with the same song.
I had some work at home so reached the Club again in another 30 minutes. By that time the girl had 'successfully' given her performance......this was evidently visible be the hop-skip and jump I saw her doing when I entered the complex. The parents too thanked me for the concern shown.
I felt really happy....there was now a 'closure' in the child's mind...she had done her best!!!! And that's all that kids actually aspire to do....unless parents push them too hard.
The next day the results were pasted at the Club Notice Board.....and guess what!! This girl had got the first position!!!!!!!!
Hope this incident exemplifies the need for GENUINE EFFORT on part of parents. That's all that kids look for.
Nikhil
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