The joy of catching up with 'real' friends

The last year or so has been one great journey for me......catching up with a couple of my real good friends - batchmates to be precise. The joy I have felt is immense, and so thought to write it up on the blog.

Investments we all know make sound logic. Most financial guru's tell us to keep doing it in order to give ourselves and our families reasonable security in life. Most of us heed this advice and proceed accordingly. But how many of us attempt to diversify the meaning of 'investment' beyond the tangibles? My guess is as good as yours.....very few!!

A true friend is undoubledly a rare 'commodity,' if I may use this term. In today's world making genuine friends and sustaining friendships is extremely difficult. Time comes at a premium...and one of the first to get sacrificed at its alter is friendship.

My experience since last year has been simply out of this world. Firstly, I caught up with my dear friend Anand in New York and then this year with Muneesh in Delhi. Both have been like brothers to me. So 're-discovering' them was like being born again! As we embraced on meeting it felt like holding an extension of my own body...and mind.

Old memories came streaming back into our minds. We began to feel young once again. The revival acted like tonic...a soothing balm. We now want to meet up again and again as much as possible. 

But to make it all happen its important to take out time and make the extra effort to catch up. There will always be an excuse to put off such occasions. Don't let them slip by, friends!! You don't know how much this 'investment' will 'pay you' in the long run. Don't just rely on e-mails and chat and SMS. These give only a superficial effect. 

Nothing can replace real body language...the energising vibrations can only be felt in physical presence and not through cyber-space.

So, do explore ways and means to 'catch up.' You don't realise the 'wealth' you are missing on by simplying denying it to yourself. 

   

The urge to cheat!

As I see kids do their exams as part of their schooling, I am amazed at the urge they display to copy from their neighbour. The methods they adopt are extremely creative and deceptive. Sometimes I wonder what great works might be achieved if the same creativity was put to doing something more useful.

The desire to succeed is intense. Parents, teachers, students alike cannot stop focussing on marks. The quantification of success in education appears to be at its peak. The craving for marks in school, high salaries in jobs and victory in sport I feel has taken away much of life's joy. This I say because each one appears so hell bent on achieving all these that they fail to realise that there is much more in life beyond.

With the internet age at its prime the world has already become 'flat.' This implies that each individual in the world today can create a place for himself...even by scoring less marks, getting low wages and failing to win in sport. This can happen in many ways. 

A child good in art must be encouraged to draw and paint. Parents and teachers must explore ways to give a voice and an expression to this talent. Experience tells me that when this happens the child begins to gain confidence. This often leads to better performance in academics. And this reduces the urge to cheat...not just in school but elsewhere in life too. The art produced may be uploaded to online art galleries at minimal cost. Someday, it might begin to sell. This may happen years later, when the child has grown into an adult and is doing a job. As takers for this art increase in numbers the individual has a 'choice.' An option to perhaps switch over full-time as an artist once there is enough confidence that it will sustain. 

This might eventually lead the individual to 'live his true calling in life.' The day this happens a new birth takes place...the birth of a person who finds meaning in life...a sense of purpose!

This too shall pass...!!

This phrase is displayed in a drawing room cabinet of one of my neighbours here in Delhi. On reading it I felt a sense of calm. But this happened only after I had dwelt over it for sometime. 

Each moment of our life is filled with some action, some thought, some desire, some anger....and the list goes on. Very often we tend to cling on to one or the other emotion or thought that crosses our mind. But time moves on...never repeating the same moment again.

Could it not be a great way to always be at peace with oneself  if we are able to live each moment of our lives to the full...with a feeling that this moment shall never return. Weather this moment is one of victory or defeat, joy or sorrow, calm or anger... we can still 'live it.'

'This too shall pass' reminds us not to make too much out of any given situation. Over-excitement in victory and extreme dejection in defeat are common reactions we witness in our country. 

Perhaps, we need to train our kids to 'live the moment' even while they are in school. And this can happen only when we begin to give less credence to marks...and later to money and salary in jobs.

I, Me, Myself! Is there any looking beyond this barrier?

Often we see how people 'manage' systems to benefit themselves, their children or their spouses. In the process they not only set an example of misusing their 'power' or 'position' but also send highly 'toxic' vibrations into the community. These signals are so malicious that theyhave the capacity to weaken institutions...and even destroy them eventually.

The individuals propogating such vibes on most occasions are so absorbed in the 'self' or the 'ego' that they simply fail to understand that by doing this action they are actually becoming the biggest enemy of their own self. This I say because the child for whom the system is being 'managed' will never realise that true happiness can only be achieved by sheer hard work and honesty. The distoring of the system prevents the child from getting the opportunity to rise to his or her true potential. I have a few examples to quote...

Children whose parents are also their teachers, coaches or trainers often can become 'victims' of this syndrome. If the parent remains a parent within the class or on the play-field then chances are that the child will 'suffer.' A boy might win a match due to a 'fixed draw' prepared by this parent who is also a tournament manager...but he is actually a 'loser' in life. The blinded 'I, Me, Myself' parent fails to understand that the real world will eventually catch up on his boy. And when that happens the child would only be pointing fingers.

So, is there a way out? Sure is. Self-Awareness. How? Each individual needs to be given the opportunity to become self aware right from childhood. This can be done by various means...the child needs to be encouraged to observe his mind...how the mind reacts to stimuli...how it feels in victory, and in defeat. Can the child be encouraged to shake hands with his opponent even after losing a match? Does he enjoy sharing his stuff? Why he likes some children and not the others? What does he like most in his parents?....and so on. As the mind observes itself through these situations, self awareness gradually evolves. This, however, is a very very slow process...time-consuming...and endless. 

As the child grows older and evolves, self awareness teaches him that to give and share is the only way forward. He then begins to identify the 'self,' the 'ego' with all that exists beyond. It is then that he begins to create systems or becomes part of institutions that work towards uprightness and integrity.

The Life Skill of Self Awareness needs to be inculcated right from childhood. For those who have missed the bus the effort needed is much more...perhaps impossible!!

Core Life Skills for all

Life Skills education is today recognised as the most critical input for a child's development. All care-givers...parents, teachers, trainers and coaches need to ensure that as children grow and develop they acquire COPING SKILLS. By coping skills I mean the ability to face life's situations...stress, competition, victory & defeat, family tensions, social strife etc...in the most apt way to be able to come out stronger. These skills are:

CORE LIFE SKILLS:

• Self awareness  
  
• Empathy  
• Critical thinking
• Creative thinking
• Decision making
  
• Problem solving
• Effective communication
• Inter-personal relationship
• Coping with stress
• Coping with emotions 
  

Every child possesses an inherent aptitude & talent that needs an expression. Caregivers must therefore seek to provide appropriate platforms for this aspect of the child's personality to be heard. These forums should instill the Core Life Skills as part of a larger process of identifying the hidden potential in children.

In the next few updates I shall elaborate on each of these skills in more detail...giving examples from real life situations. These inputs I am sure will add more value to the efforts in child development already in process.

Perhaps the best part about Life Skills Education is that care-givers too acquire the necessary skills to cope with life's vagiaries. Many may be experts in their own way...but the process of getting involved with kids in this way will surely make them even more skilled.

Education for all.....will it remain just a dream?

Have thought a lot about this. Kids from very poor families in India just don't get the opportunity to go to school...and remain enrolled for long. Drop-out rates are high...the need for the child to contribute to the poor family's income soon catches up and the child drop's out. 

I am suggesting a method which I developed while working as a Civil Engineer on a construction site almost 15 years ago....The concept of VIDYA-SHAKTI School. I have modified the concept through time based on experience and trial at the grass-roots. Here goes....

CAMP SCHOOLS AT CONSTRUCTION SITES - ‘VIDYA-SHAKTI’

India is a country of more than one billion people. A large percentage of this population is illiterate. Many poor people in the country make a living by using their labor capital - as agriculture labour or construction labour. The children of these labourers get very little opportunity to become literate. Their parents keep migrating from one place to another in search of their daily wages. Once they grow up, they too become labourers. In this way, the cycle of illiteracy and poverty keeps repeating itself year after year.

REACHA, AN NGO (www.reacha.org) registered under the Societies Registration Act 1860, has worked extensively in the field of formal and non-formal education in India since 1992. We strongly feel that the problems of poverty, illiteracy and population explosion that are adversely affecting development of our country can be tackled by focusing our efforts at providing meaningful non-formal education to such migratory child populations. This can be achieved by setting up camp schools called ‘VIDYA-SHAKTI’ at each construction site as per the following broad guideline:

1.      VIDYA-SHAKTI School to have a crèche to provide support to children of age group 0-6 years.

2.      VIDYA-SHAKTI School to impart non-formal education/ literacy (Reading, Writing and Arithmetic) to children of age group 6-14 years.

3.      A local registered NGO to closely monitor the functioning of each VIDYA-SHAKTI.

4.      The cost of running each VIDYA-SHAKTI school to be included in the project cost. This cost should include resources made available to the local NGO for monitoring the school functioning.

5.      Teachers for VIDYA-SHAKTI to be appointed by the local NGO.

6.      Each child to be given a VIDYA-CARD (V-CARD). The V-CARD should contain the child’s photo, basic bio-data, basic health parameters and the level of literacy acquired till date.

7.      This V-CARD will be carried by each child from one site to another so that continuity is maintained and the literacy imparted at each new VIDYA-SHAKTI School acquires a certain level of consistency.

8.      If this V-CARD is maintained properly y by successive local NGO’s, then each child might be able to complete school education to a reasonably satisfactory level. Here, The National Open School (NOS) can play a vital role.

9.      Quarterly Reports on the running of VIDYA-SHAKTI/ Students performance/ development to be prepared by the NGO and submitted to the agency funding the project, so that the same is audited by their Chartered Accountant and forms part of the Income Tax documents submitted to the IT department at the end of the financial year.

I feel that if one successful model of a camp VIDYA-SHAKTI School is made functional for a year, a Public Interest Litigation (PIL) can be filed in the Supreme Court Of India so that it may decree for such VIDYA-SHAKTI Schools to be setup at every construction site. This might herald a new era in our quest to ‘enable’ and ‘empower’ the poorest of the poor in the country through the power of knowledge. The ‘Knowledge Age’ would be the surest precursor to a developed India.