The phenomena of the Orphaned Urban Child (OUC)

The other day I was doing invigilation duty at the CBSE Class XII Board Exams in my school in Delhi. It was around 10am, and the students had started coming into the room and taking their place. Things were pretty much quiet up until one girl from one of the participating schools reached her desk and yelled," How can I sit on this desk? Its too small and just not upto the standard!" Her exclamation surprised me as it did some of the other students from her own school who were occupying desks similar to this one. I took a minute to gather my thoughts and then asked her what needed to be done. Pointing to another desk in the next row she said that that one was much better suited to her. She wanted me to let her sit there and ask the student from that desk to occupy this one.

I had to tell her that this was not possible since each desk was numbered sequentially as per students' roll numbers. A shift was out of the question. This did not satisfy her...so I asked her why she thought that the desk which was not fit for her would be fine for the other student. To this she had no reply...so I asked her how about a cricketer going to a foreign land to play a match reacting the way she did...what would happen if this guy were to say that the cricket pitch was not fit for him...and so the venue must be changed...the match referee would simply give a walk-over to the other side, I told her. So she better learn to cope with different situations without raising a tantrum. That was the real challenge.

I have quoted this incident because I feel that the girls reaction was a manifestation of the OUC phenomena. With both parents working in most metros as well as big cities, the child gets very little time to spend with parents. The latch-key kid is the outcome. Also, in such cases the nuclear families have become Pseudo Nuclear Families...with all members of the family being together at the same time becoming rarer and rarer. This often leads to a feeling of guilt in parents...for neglecting their children. And this creates an urge in them to overspend on them every now and then...a way to compensate for the lost time.

Such children begin to get more material gifts and comforts than they actually need...leading to a situation where they are unable to realize and estimate the true value of things and situations. So what happens? The growing child begins to feel that the whole world is his/her...all comforts should be theirs without fail!

I request parents to guard against such developments. They must ensure that the child learns to 'earn' and 'value' their benevolent inputs. This in no way implies that we must not pamper our children...of course we must! They are our little wonders and we have every right to shower our love and affection.

My only concern is that 'balance' needs to be struck between affection and providing our children enabling toolkits to handle life's situations...with a smile on their face.

Otherwise, sooner than later they will spoil an exam due to an 'unfit' desk!!

Nikhil
(Just drove back home...this bit had to be keyed in )